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Come for the salad. Stay for the vegetable hate-ballad.
1) buy a jullienne peeler
2) wonder why you didn't know about julienne peelers
3) buy a zucchini
4) form a strong social bond
5) betray the zucchini and shred it into noodles with that wonderful julienne peeler
6) 1 avocado, half lemon, half clove of garlic, a fuck-tonne of basil, a dash of honey, throw into a food processor. Pick up the food processor and shake vigorously until it is mixed smooth.
7) call your parents and tell them they were wrong when they said you'd never amount to anything
8) go to their house at night and fling the zucchini noodles all over their exterior walls
9) show up the next morning and pretend to feel bad and help them clean it off
10) bask in the relationship you never knew you could have